Things You Should Never Say To A Mom 🚫

Motherhood is challenging and stressful. Whether you are a new mom or an experienced mom, we all know it's never easy to raise a child. There will be struggles, tears and sacrifices... Being a mother is fulfilling but it's also a strenuous job, both emotionally and physically.


Words are powerful weapons and the last thing a mom need is someone making her feel bad about herself. 


Give the mother some support, words of encouragement instead of criticism and judgments. So before you make a remark, try to avoid insensitive, unkind and hurtful phrases that may upset the mothers.


Things You Should Never Say To Moms :

"You look so tired."

Mothers are tired. Especially those with newborns or younger children without any helpers or nannies/in-laws/childcare, etc. Most mothers don't get enough sleep every day. They are always busy attending to their kids, cleaning up the house, fixing meals and running daily errands, etc. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or working moms, there are days you don't look your best. There is no need to remind them how tired or messy their hair looks.


"When are you having another child?"

Having a child is a personal decision. There are many important things to consider when you are planning for another baby.  

Whenever someone asks me to try for #3, I floored! (Are you serious?) Yes! I love children but that doesn't mean I want a 'dozen' lol. When I think about pregnancy, the awful morning sickness and the horrible contractions. Oh no! I am very sure I'm done with childbirth. Two is just enough. Thank you very much! 😁


"You should breastfeed longer..."
Breastfeeding is exhausting and it's not always easy for mothers. It can be quite embarrassing when the milk leaks in public and sometimes you can't find a nursing room to feed your hungry baby, so it's not always convenient to breastfeed on demand. 

We know 'Breast Is Best' but there are many valid reasons why some mothers don't breastfeed longer, we should respect their decisions and STOP mom-shaming. It is OK to give the baby formula, that doesn't make you are a bad mother. I breastfeed for 15months, though it isn't very long, but I think I did fine. 


"Why are your kids so skinny/chubby...What did you feed them?" 
Oh my gosh! This is one of the most annoying and rude remarks to a mother. Not all children eat anything that is served on the table. Many kids are fussy and picky eaters. I am sure all mothers feed their children with nutrition because we want our children to grow strong and healthy, but some kids just aren't good eaters. I used to stress a lot about their weight but now I came to understand that being healthy is more important than the numbers on the scale! 


"Sleep when the baby sleeps..."
Ermm...I hear this all the time but it's not always possible. In fact, when the baby sleeps, it's the best time to do some house chores, have a quick meal, pump out the milk and take a shower etc...When my kids were babies, they sleep in the cot and I would watch them sleep, to make sure they are safe and secure. Personally, I don't feel comfortable to sleep when the baby sleeps, especially when they are still little. 


"Your house is a Toys'R'us! " (LOL)

That is one hilarious remark I've heard! When you have small children at home, toys are everywhere...and when the kids get bored with old toys...Parents, grandparents, relatives start buying more toys to keep the little ones entertained. (Welcome to our toyland, please feel free to look around and make yourself at home!😁) 


"Your child cries a lot!"
No mothers want to hear that from anyone. It's really heartbreaking and distressing when a child cries! The helpless mom could be feeling scared, frustrated and trying her best to stop the crying drama! That remark doesn't serve anything, it only create more anxiety and make the mother panic! 


"Don't spoil the kids!"
OK, that one makes sense and I get the point, but trust me, it's easy to say than done! We love our children and we want to give them the best, don't we? In my opinion, protecting the children, giving them love and attention is never spoiling a child, but that's just me.


"Kids will be kids..."
Well yeah! I know that's true but that doesn't mean we should condone bad behavior. Discipline is an important part of parenting. Well, say for example, if your child got badly hurt or bullied by other kids and the parent tells you, "Kids will be kids..." Wow! how would you feel? 

Bad conduct/behavior is unacceptable and should not be ignored. As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our kids what's right and wrong.

"Stop worrying so much about your kids!"

The moment you become a mother, the worries never stop! You may worry lesser, but you will still be worried about the kids, always!...

My dear mama still worried about me when I skipped meals and when I didn't reply to her text messages. Typically, a mother never stops worrying. Maternal love, I suppose...❤️


Sometimes, words might seem unintentional and harmless to you but it matters to others, so be tactful for the choice of words you use.

...and if you are not sure what to say to a mother, always praise her for the hard work and tell her she is doing a great job! Be supportive and gracious always! 😘


So Mommies, what are some interesting remarks you have heard? Share with me and comment below. 


Blogger Mommywarrior77

Love Builds A Happy Home ❤️🏡

I love children.

I've always dreamed of having a big family with lots of kids around the house. I love their innocent minds and purest hearts. Their lovely smiles and funny giggle always warms my heart! 😍

Raising a kid here in Singapore is pretty expensive, so two is just perfect for me and I'm very thankful to be blessed with 2 beautiful kids in my life. I admit I'm not the most patient mum in the world, but I'll always protect them, love them with all my heart and provide them the best I could. That is my promise, my responsibility to my children and I'll never break that promise!

Some days, my kids made me really upset and drive me nuts, but as a mother, you'll always see the beauty in them and forgive them anyway. No mothers I know would ever hold grudges against their own children.


Hence, parenting is a challenging journey. Personally, I feel that every child is unique in their own ways so I wouldn't want to compare them with anyone and I don't follow a fixed formula in parenting because a lot of answers are never found in books. To me, it's all about trial & error and being flexible for your child's needs, but that's just my opinion.

I'm sharing some thoughts on family life and parenting today because I feel strongly for my close friends (mothers too) who shared with me how tired and frustrated they are, to manage everything alone when their husband is at work or out of town for months. I could relate to how they feel because my hubby works long hours too, sometimes, I feel so exhausted doing the endless house chores and mothering the kids at the same time. 


There are days when I am so busy with the kids and my online biz that I hardly have much time to blog. Most days, I only get a few hours of sleep. (But that's fine, I don't sleep a lot anyway.lol)


It gets worse when you are unwell and didn't have time to rest when you don't have any source of help near you.. No nanny, helper, in-laws, grandparents or someone you trust to help you out... Can you imagine how crazy and stressful it is, with zero help?... Homemakers are not made of steel, we need rest too, like everyone else!


All I could do was give my friends hugs for comfort and support. Lend them my ears to listen, whenever they want to vent their frustrations and unhappiness. 


Besides the struggle...Do you realize that Mothers are always the ones who get judged and blamed? It is no wonder they are so stressed out and emotionally drained when they get judged almost everything...ALL THE TIME!


Say for example, when the kids misbehaved, show bad manners and attitude or get into some troubles, everyone starts pointing fingers at the mothers but rarely at fathers. Hmmm, but isn't parenting suppose to be a teamwork?... Well, I don't think it's right to blame only the Mums for bad parenting. Ah yes! I know Dads are the sole breadwinners, they work very hard every day to provide for the family, but a Daddy's role is equally important in parenting.


Actually, I have seen some good Daddies around lately. I think the new-age Dads are very cool! I must say I'm really impressed by how dedicated and devoted some fathers are. 

I once heard a Daddy singing "Baby Shark" to his toddler on a long bus ride, even when he sang out of tune, lol..I still think that was really sweet! Men are often viewed as a muscular and manly figure, so when a Dad sings a kid song or nursery rhymes to his child in public...Wow! You got my attention, Mister! Thumbs up, Daddy! 👍 


I feel that in order to build a happy family, both Mummies and Daddies have to be involved in parenting because they are the ones who shape the kid's personalities and the person they grow up to be.

My point is, parenting is a team effort! It is never only the Mummy's or Daddy's duty to do certain roles, it's all about supporting each other and teaching the children the right things as parents. 


Keep in mind that your spouse is your life partner, not a slave or a machine, it's not humanly possible for anyone to take all the roles in parenting alone. Do not take anyone or anything for granted. Your partner needs support, your attention, understanding and appreciation too. 

The children are your labor of love..Therefore, both Mummy and Daddy play the most important roles in the parenting journey. Kids learn from their parents, always! When you show love, respect and kindness to others. Chances are, your kids are more likely to follow the same way you did and become loving adults in the years to come.


Parenting is never easy because we all have emotions and bad days too, that is why you need support from your partner when you feel emotional or need some time-out! In my opinion, there is no perfect parenting nor a perfect family, only responsible parents who work hand in hand together. 

A warm and happy family isn't built overnight, it takes years, a lot of patience and hard work from both parents...But together, you can build a happy family so long as you work as a team... and happy home, raise happy kids! 👦👧

Let me know what's your thoughts on Parenting / Parenthood? 

Happy Parenting, Mummies & Daddies! 😘 

Blogger Mommywarrior77

Have You Been Naughty Or Nice? 😈😇

As the bus drove by along Orchard Road...I glanced through the window looking at the busy streets filled with happy shoppers, beautiful lightings and fancy decorations...Yay! It's Christmas!!! My favorite time of the year...🎄🎅❤️

Every December, I would make my New Year resolutions and do a quick recap on the whole year events.

How have 2018 been 
for you? Have you been Naughty or Nice? Lol.😀

Honestly, I would say I've been a bit of both but mostly nice.😁 If you know me well enough, you know I'm always friendly, nice and warm to people who are genuine, kind and helpful. However, if anyone try to hurt or mess with my kids and family, I can be quite nasty that they can never imagine! So DON'T mess with the Mama Bear..Afterall, it's a maternal instinct for any mother to protect her children..Other than that, I'm as cool as a cucumber. LOL!

2018 has been another busy and eventful year for me..Mostly involving with my kids events, random contests, school life, some oversea trips, lots of fun parties/celebrations and gatherings with good friends. 

I'm very proud of my son who achieved an Integrity Award from his school. He scored 95% for moral education as well.(Welldone, baby!) The form teachers feedback about his good conducts and school grades. My daughter will be starting Pre-school in Jan 2019. She is super excited about school life, she carries her new school bag everyday, walking around the house, packing the crayons and color pencils into her bag.😁

My online business is doing pretty well this year and I'm grateful for the 100% positive feedback from my regular and new customers. Thank you all so much for the support. I've won some prizes from random lucky draws and costume contests earlier, very thankful to Lady Luck for being so kind and generous to me in the recent months! 😍🙏

I also made a couple of new friends and interesting people early this year that inspired me on the perspective of life.👍


As I recalled some unhappy past events, I realized that family is STILL the Most important thing in the world.. No amount of money can ever buy family love, loyalty and unity.

Indeed..What is happiness when you are rich with no family and true friends around you? No thanks! I wouldn't want to be rich but lonely! My family will always be my top priority. Nothing can replace them! I will always love and protect my family. Period!

I've also learned to keep a distance from the black sheeps and the troublemakers who caused some dramas earlier! It is so true that life is more peaceful when you stay away from negativeness and toxic people. I see a huge difference since...

Christmas is a season of giving, hope, joy and a wonderful time to spend with your family and love ones. I'm glad I've done my new year resolution and still have a little spare time to write a short blog today and do a shout-out here to all my readers, to wrap up 2018.


I hope 2019 bring more joy, laughters and blessings to everyone! Always treasure your family! Family bonding is very important if you want a happy home. Make time for them, organize family outings, have movie nights or do some sports together. Your work and money can wait! 😉

True happiness and wealth in life are things that money can't buy. You are truly rich and blessed when you have a family who stick together and always stand by you through good times and bad times. Keep in mind that a family who sticks together, stays together! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 💗

On this peaceful evening, I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May the holiday season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your life with laughter. Have a fun celebration! Don't be in Santa's naughty list, folks! Lol! Do good and be kind always! 😘

For Love & Peace! ♥️✌️


Blogger Mommywarrior77

Before Saying...I Do! 💏

Not long ago, I was invited to a private group interview on the topic "Successful Marriage". For the record, I have been married for over a decade and counting...(*but I'm not old btw..) 😁😄 I guess I'm qualified to offer my humble advise and thoughts on this very popular discussion.

During the interview, the host asked.....

"What is your best advise for people who are getting married and the newlyweds..."

...and I replied,

In my opinion, a Marriage is much more than just a paper and the marital status. When you decided to marry that special someone, you do not just married to the love of your life, you married to his/her family as well.

Trust me, that is a fact! I believe those who have been married for many years would agree with me, that is why building a successful Marriage isn't easy because there will be many unhappy, tacky situations and new challenges along the way that could involve your spouse's family, eg; siblings, relatives, etc.. that unfortunately may effect your relationship when couples start having disagreements and disputes over family matters.You may have a hard time blending into the family and you will be exhausted playing the Angel all the time when your spouse's family don't even appreciate your efforts in the end, so married life isn't as simple as it looked.  

I am NOT an expert in Marriage advise but I will share my perspective on Marriage / Married Life based on my personal experience for the readers as a general reference.☺

Before you propose and say I do......

1) Never rush to get married! Don't feel pressure to marry because you feel lonely, unhappy being single or your parents keep nagging at you. Marriage Is A Lifetime Commitment. It is better to marry later than married to the wrong person. 

People said, "Love Is Blind". Indeed..lovers can be 'blinded' when they are madly in love, people do get impulsive and married too early and then regret later. So give yourself sufficient time to know the person better and his/her family as well.

2) Avoid staying too near or living together with your in-laws. You can always bring the kids to visit your in-laws every weekly/monthly or as often as you want and it is so convenient to travel around any part of the country. Personally, I would prefer NOT to stay too close or living together with my in-laws because it can cause some inconvenience, unnecessary stress and tensions living under one roof. Besides, I need my privacy! Lol😝

When we talk about in-laws, it doesn't only refer to the Father/Mother-in-law alone, that also include the unmarried sister/brother-in-law who are still living together with the parents. These are the people who may gossip / badmouth you and create many family dramas because they could be jealous and feeling insecure when they see you as a Threat in the family, especially when you are intelligent, vocal and outshine them in many aspects. So if you do have a choice, be wise and distance yourself from those nasty in-laws! They are one of the Biggest deal breaker imo.

3) Always protect your loved ones. Do NOT let anyone bully your spouse and children. If you know your spouse/children is right, speak up and stand by them. Remember, silence isn't always golden! Your spouse deserve all the respect in the family. He/she doesn't have to put up with the nonsense and be treated unfairly. Always Do What Is Right! A strong family is one who stays united.💗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 

4) Choose your battles. Put down your ego. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose..Hey, it's no big deal!😎 You don't have to win all the time, there is no medal for winning anyway, Haha!..and Marriage isn't a competition. It is silly to fight over small matters, don't let those minor things effect your Marriage/relationship, it's just not worth it!

 

5) Mutual respect and good communication is extremely important in a healthy, successful Marriage. Without communication and respect, I don't think any Marriage / Relationships can survive in a long run and it may lead to many serious problems later. Make some efforts to communicate daily. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse often. Listen when he/she speak, do not interrupt or judge anything. Do acknowledged that everyone have different emotions on each situations..Be a good listener and be supportive. Praises and compliments never harm.😘👍

6) Keep the Fire burning..it doesn't matter how long you are married. Don't forget to groom yourself, hit the gym or do some sports to keep fit. Put some efforts on your physical appearance and dressings.When you look good, you feel good inside and out, it boost your charm and confidence big time! (*Speaking from my own experience.LOL!😁)

Don't forget couple time.💏 Always make time for your spouse. Romance is very important in a Marriage. Be creative and spontaneous. Why not start dating your wife/husband again? You could get someone you trust to babysit your kids and go out on a date with your spouse. Perhaps a romantic candle-light dinner, midnight movies, supper or evening strolls at the beach under the stars...Who doesn't like sweet surprises, right?😘

Marriage is a teamwork. It takes two to tango.. NEVER take anyone or anything for granted! A happy and successful Marriage need to be nurtured with a lot of hard work, sacrifices, patience, understanding and consistent commitments from both husband and wife.👫

......Whenever I see old loving couples holding hands strolling at the park, my heart melts with warmness and sweetness. They have proven to the world that True Love does exist!...😆😄💕

Blogger Mommywarrior77

The Cyber Generation 🌎

Last week, I attended an interesting workshop on Cyber Wellness and met Mr Jim Lim, the speaker for the workshop. Personally, I think it is one of the best workshop that I have attended in the recent years. 

Jim is a friendly, humorous and intellectual speaker and his workshop is helpful, informative and engaging. I promise you won't doze off in his 4hrs+ workshop. I now have a better idea to guide my children as they grow into their teens and adulthood in years to come. 

We are in the Cyber Generation and Internet is part of our life..Hence, the trend, the temptations and the contents from the net influenced the mind and the overall well-being of the child when they are exposed to the Internet everyday. It is important for parents to be involved and bond with our children to help them understand about Internet safety and their curiosity as they grow.

I am amazed and inspired by his speech in this workshop. Jim who is also an experienced social worker have met many people / families from different walks of life, he shared many real life stories and his perspectives on Parenting.

We all know that Parenting is not an easy journey because there is No fixed or right formula. There will be tears, heartaches, anxiety but alot of joy along the way and from time to time, we need to experience many trial-and-error to understand what works the best for our children because every child is different and unique in their own ways.

As a parent myself and a mother of two, I am a protective and a strict Mom. However, unlike the majority, I am not one who focus too much on academic and good grades, because I believe life isn't only about having good grades. 

As much as I want my children to have a bright future and be successful in life but I wouldn't want my children to be top scholars but failed in morality, humanity and social skills/EQ. I want my kids to experience their life journey and to overcome the different challenges ahead and if they fall, I want them to learn to get back on their feet and keep moving forward but a stronger and wiser person each time they fall.

With all due respect, I strongly agree that good and proper education is very important for our generation and the human race. Knowledge Is Power! Without a strong educational foundation and support, there wouldn't be doctors, scientists and lawyers today!

Well..I'm not a big fan of books but if I will spent 12 bucks to get this book and to blog about it, it's definitely a great book that I would recommend to my friends and other parents, especially those who have an open and flexible mentality on Parenting.

The world is a crazy and hazard place, with shocking news everyday. Power, Violence, Fame, Fear, Greed, Lust and the list go on..Though we can't stop all the negativeness around the world but we can educate and guide our younger generation into the right path to shape our world a better place.🌎

Life is an exciting journey and Parenting is our responsibility! Teach our young the right and humane way of life, to build a better future for mankind.

For love, compassion and peace!❤

Blogger Mommywarrior77

12 Laws Of Karma 👍

Hey everyone! :)

Well, it's school holiday now so i'm kinda' busy with my little ones, keeping them entertained with some cool family activities.;)

Not much to blog lately but here's a link to those who like to know more about Karma.:)

Take some time to read the link below and think about your life..Who knows you may find the Answers that you are looking for.:)

Click Link : The 12 Laws of Karma

For those who believe in Karma, good on you! :) For those who don't, well.. good luck!

I hope this information will change your life for better. 🙏

Till then, take care and do good! :)

Blogger Mommywarrior77

Stay-At-Home Moms, I Salute You! 💖

People often asked, "Babe, why did you gave up your career to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom?", "Don't you feel bored staying at home all day?"

I smiled and replied politely..."Not really, I have a lifetime to work, but my kids are only young once, I want to be there to witness all their milestones, to spend quality time together and giving them a beautiful childhood..."

Hmmm..why would I be bored? I keep myself busy every day and I love bonding with my 2 sweethearts. I can't wait to teach them how to play the guitar/drums, bake the cookies, play basketball together, go camping and I look forward to more activities as they grow...

Since the day they were born, it is my duty and responsibility as their Mother to take care of them, no excuse! Frankly, 24 hours isn't enough for me, the house chores never seem to end...Every time I cleaned up the room, it's messy again the next hour...Wow! I don't even have time to enjoy a decent meal or take a nice long bath...Indeed, though my kids made me very busy, exhausted and 'crazy' some days, but they also brought a lot of joy and sunshine into my life.

While I do agree that money is very important but my children/family always comes first! To me..FAMILY is the most important thing in the world!

Over the years, I have seen many unhappy rich people and happy average people who appreciate every little thing in life even though they don't enjoy all the luxuries like the rich. The latter seems happier.

In my opinion, if you have a happy family/home. You ARE Rich! because no amount of money in the world can ever buy a happy family nor a beautiful childhood etc..We should always learn to be thankful and count our blessings.

As a wife and a mother, my priorities are my children/family, NOT my career at this point. Moreover, I never really miss working life, I'm glad I don't have to rush to catch the train and dealing with office politics now. I'm pretty happy and contented to be a Stay/Work-At-Home Mom and a Lifestyle Mommy Blogger too.😘

Unfortunately, the society is negative and judgmental on SAHMs but it doesn't really matter! We don't need to follow the majority and we don't have to listen to those stereotyped remarks anyways. Every family is different.

I understand that words can be very hurtful sometimes, people are very mean and often mock at these poor mothers, I can totally relate to that, being a S/WAHM myself.

But think again..if there is no SAHM to take this role, be prepared to spend more money on daycare/childcare services and be mindful that these centres don't operate 24/7.

It's really sad that the hard work people see, is based on the wages that you bring home every month. Hence, the unconditional love and time that we (SAHMs) have given to the family were forgotten and taken for granted, yet again...

Nonetheless, I'm still thankful that I have a choice and I choose to be a SAHM, I'm proud of my role and decision. No regrets at all.

My children will never remember all the cool toys when they are older but they will always remember their sweet memories of their childhood with their mother always by their side to love, nurture, guide and protect them.

With all due respect, I truly feel that SAHMs deserve more appreciations, supports and encouragements from the society for all the sacrifices they made for the kids/family...Afterall, not everyone can accept this role and be a happy SAHM altogether. It is truly not easy to be a SAHM, only those who are one would understand the struggles and challenges we deal each day. 

I am writing this to thank my dear mother for all the love and support she has given me since the day I was born and also a shout-out to all the amazing SAHMs out there (*including myself) who have done so much but too little recognition.

I truly feel your delicate love and exhaustion, Mommies! Please remind yourself that you are doing a wonderful job. Let's keep up the good work, Supermoms! From the bottom of my heart, I Salute You! 😎👍

Blogger Mommywarrior77