The Myths Of Motherhood ⚠️

Ok mama! I'm sure we've all heard some myths of motherhood.

I remember when I became a mother. Friends, relatives and even random strangers will offer some interesting information about motherhood; the classic myths, the old wives tales but sadly, social phenomenon can sometimes do more harm than help and that makes motherhood a lot harder than it is. 

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom and I'm thankful to have 2 lovely children but the struggle is real! From conception, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and parenting...The different stages of motherhood brings different emotions of excitement, fear, joy and many overwhelming experiences. 

The journey of motherhood is challenging but it's definitely worth it! However, many misinformation and misconceptions can often caused moms to get judged brutally and unfairly, these myths impact many moms that made them feel bad, guilty and shamed. 

Here are some myths that I have heard, in my journey of motherhood...

Myth #1 : "Breastfeeding help you lose weight..."

Well, I heard this one all the time but too bad it didn't work for me!Lol. I breastfeed for about 15months for my firstborn and the truth is (*at least in my personal experience) I get super hungry after I breastfeed many times a day and I actually eat more, I don't see a significant drop on the scale so this one is busted! (*for me)

Myth #2 : "Breastfeeding is a natural thing!" 

We all know "Breast Is Best" and I fully support breastfeeding campaigns and giving our babies the best nutrients, but sometimes it's not always easy for new mothers. Breastfeeding is a process that requires patience, determination and proper techniques.

Personally, I love the bonding and the skin-to-skin contact when I nurse my baby but breastfeeding can be uncomfortable, exhausting and inconvenience especially when you are in public places and there is no nursing room nearby. It can be quite embarrassing when the milk leaks, imagine walking around with a soaked blouse, oh gosh! Nonetheless, my breastfeeding journey has been a memorable experience but I don't miss it! 😅

I strongly believe every mom wants the best for their child so whether you breastfeed for a month, for a year or even longer, it doesn't make you less or more of a mother. 

I see many new moms struggling with breastfeeding, feeling immense shame for poor lactation and blaming themselves for not providing enough breast milk. Please don't be too hard on yourself, mummies! Not all moms have a milk supply of a fountain. Breastfeed as long as you can and it's OK to stop when you need to. 

Myth #3 : "A mom should dress like a mom." 

This is one hilarious remark! I mean seriously, is there actually a mom's 'outfit'? Ok, I get the point but in my opinion, I feel that every mom should allow to dress whatever that makes them feel beautiful, comfortable and confident. There is nothing wrong if the mom wants to wear the mini skirt or that bikini, etc...The way we dress has nothing to do with the status of motherhood.  

Myth #4 : "You are the mom, you should fix the problems!"

We often see people pointing fingers and start blaming the poor mother when the child misbehaved. People are too quick to judge without a clue what exactly happened. Hang on! Moms are not problem solvers, we are only humans. Be kind to mothers, we are learning, we trying very hard everyday, we get tired and we made mistakes too. Be more supportive and encouraging instead of mom-shaming. 

Myth #5 : "Csection isn't a real birth..." 

The controversy of Cesarean vs Natural Birth is totally pointless. What matters most is the safety of the baby and the mother. 

I had Csect twice, probably the most nerve-wrecking ordeal of my life when the gynecologist told me I had to go for an emergency c-section when the dilation was slow. I was scared and didn't know what to expect but I didn't care about the procedure and how long the recovery would takes, all I wanted was to bring my baby out safely. 

Not all labors are fast and smooth, some are long and traumatic. The birthing methods should never define the labor of love and motherhood. All births are amazing, it doesn't matter how it happens, both takes much courage and strength.💪😎

Myth #6 : "You will enjoy being a mom every day!" 

As much as I love my kids and they are my world, but there are some days I wish I can take a day off, just relax, do my own stuff and hang out with my besties. Kids can sometimes get you so annoyed and stressed-out with their constant whining and tantrums. We all have bad days, mummies need a little break and some space too. 

Myth #7 : "Asking for help is a sign of weakness..."

No, surely not! Mothers are multi-taskers and they play many roles. It is not humanly possible to manage everything alone! We all need help from time to time, so don't feel weak to ask for help, it's better to get some help than dealing with all the meltdowns that could affect your emotions and mental well-being.

As mothers, we need to take care of ourselves first in order to take care of the children and our family. Don't be afraid to reach out for some support and assistance. 

The judgement from society can be unjustified and cruel, we need to detach the myths of motherhood from reality, besides, there is no fixed formula for motherhood. Every child and every situation is different, do not let negative beliefs and stereotype criticism affect your role as a mother. Do what is best for your children and the family! 😉

"A mother's love is instinctual, unconditional and forever..."

What are some interesting myths you heard, share with me and comment below.

Things You Should Never Say To A Mom 🚫

Motherhood is challenging and stressful. Whether you are a new mom or an experienced mom, we all know it's never easy to raise a child. There will be struggles, tears and sacrifices... Being a mother is fulfilling but it's also a strenuous job, both emotionally and physically.


Words are powerful weapons and the last thing a mom need is someone making her feel bad about herself. 


Give the mother some support, words of encouragement instead of criticism and judgments. So before you make a remark, try to avoid insensitive, unkind and hurtful phrases that may upset the mothers.


Things You Should Never Say To Moms :

"You look so tired."

Mothers are tired. Especially those with newborns or younger children without any helpers or nannies/in-laws/childcare, etc. Most mothers don't get enough sleep every day. They are always busy attending to their kids, cleaning up the house, fixing meals and running daily errands, etc. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or working moms, there are days you don't look your best. There is no need to remind them how tired or messy their hair looks.


"When are you having another child?"

Having a child is a personal decision. There are many important things to consider when you are planning for another baby.  

Whenever someone asks me to try for #3, I floored! (Are you serious?) Yes! I love children but that doesn't mean I want a 'dozen' lol. When I think about pregnancy, the awful morning sickness and the horrible contractions. Oh no! I am very sure I'm done with childbirth. Two is just enough. Thank you very much! 😁


"You should breastfeed longer..."
Breastfeeding is exhausting and it's not always easy for mothers. It can be quite embarrassing when the milk leaks in public and sometimes you can't find a nursing room to feed your hungry baby, so it's not always convenient to breastfeed on demand. 

We know 'Breast Is Best' but there are many valid reasons why some mothers don't breastfeed longer, we should respect their decisions and STOP mom-shaming. It is OK to give the baby formula, that doesn't make you are a bad mother. I breastfeed for 15months, though it isn't very long, but I think I did fine. 


"Why are your kids so skinny/chubby...What did you feed them?" 
Oh my gosh! This is one of the most annoying and rude remarks to a mother. Not all children eat anything that is served on the table. Many kids are fussy and picky eaters. I am sure all mothers feed their children with nutrition because we want our children to grow strong and healthy, but some kids just aren't good eaters. I used to stress a lot about their weight but now I came to understand that being healthy is more important than the numbers on the scale! 


"Sleep when the baby sleeps..."
Ermm...I hear this all the time but it's not always possible. In fact, when the baby sleeps, it's the best time to do some house chores, have a quick meal, pump out the milk and take a shower etc...When my kids were babies, they sleep in the cot and I would watch them sleep, to make sure they are safe and secure. Personally, I don't feel comfortable to sleep when the baby sleeps, especially when they are still little. 


"Your house is a Toys'R'us! " (LOL)

That is one hilarious remark I've heard! When you have small children at home, toys are everywhere...and when the kids get bored with old toys...Parents, grandparents, relatives start buying more toys to keep the little ones entertained. (Welcome to our toyland, please feel free to look around and make yourself at home!😁) 


"Your child cries a lot!"
No mothers want to hear that from anyone. It's really heartbreaking and distressing when a child cries! The helpless mom could be feeling scared, frustrated and trying her best to stop the crying drama! That remark doesn't serve anything, it only create more anxiety and make the mother panic! 


"Don't spoil the kids!"
OK, that one makes sense and I get the point, but trust me, it's easy to say than done! We love our children and we want to give them the best, don't we? In my opinion, protecting the children, giving them love and attention is never spoiling a child, but that's just me.


"Kids will be kids..."
Well yeah! I know that's true but that doesn't mean we should condone bad behavior. Discipline is an important part of parenting. Well, say for example, if your child got badly hurt or bullied by other kids and the parent tells you, "Kids will be kids..." Wow! how would you feel? 

Bad conduct/behavior is unacceptable and should not be ignored. As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our kids what's right and wrong.

"Stop worrying so much about your kids!"

The moment you become a mother, the worries never stop! You may worry lesser, but you will still be worried about the kids, always!...

My dear mama still worried about me when I skipped meals and when I didn't reply to her text messages. Typically, a mother never stops worrying. Maternal love, I suppose...❤️


Sometimes, words might seem unintentional and harmless to you but it matters to others, so be tactful for the choice of words you use.

...and if you are not sure what to say to a mother, always praise her for the hard work and tell her she is doing a great job! Be supportive and gracious always! 😘


So Mommies, what are some interesting remarks you have heard? Share with me and comment below. 


Blogger Mommywarrior77

What's In Your Bag, Mommy? 👜💗

Have you ever wonder why do Mummies carry a big bag when they are out with the little ones? 

Children are messy, they are very active, maybe a little clumsy too, they are curious about everything and always eager to explore... Sometimes, they get all dirty while eating, playing, running around and they may even get hurt during outdoor activities...

So if you have a child below 5 years old, I do think it is still necessary to bring the Mummy Bag along but don't worry, the good news is...the bag gets lighter as the kids grow older. (Thank goodness!)


My hubby often teased me for being a 'Doraemon', (Say whaat?!..🙄) I'm sure everyone knows the Robot Cat, Doraemon who has everything in his magic pocket. Well yeah, I guess my bag has almost everything too. Anyways, I don't mind such nickname since Doraemon is pretty adorable, witty and intelligent too. How appropriate, dear! 😁

My son is 8 this year and my daughter is 3.5yo now, she doesn't need the stroller anymore so I use a regular tote bag or a sling bag to put all the important stuff whenever I take them out. Well, you'll never know when you need those things and I feel more secure when I have these precious items in my bag all the time.


My friends always feel safe when Mama 'Doraemon' is around. Haha! Nah...I don't really care if people laughed at me for carrying all this stuff because I'd rather be teased at, than rushing to the nearest convenience store just to grab some wet wipes, medicated cream or plasters that you desperately need them immediately...and what if there is no pharmacy or a mini-mart anywhere near you!😱 Oh no... I may start to panic so I would avoid such anxiety and unnecessary drama. 


I believe the mothers would definitely feel more safe and secure when we have these handy items in our Mummy Bag anytime we need them and I prefer to call it "A Bag Of Love." 

...So these are what I have in my bag :


☑️ Wet Wipes + Tissues 
Practice good hygiene is so important. No parents would want the kids to get sick because it's a nightmare taking care of an unwell and cranky child. These are compulsory items in my bag, they are very handy when you can't find a washroom nearby or during picnics and outdoor activities. 


☑️ Sanitizer
Germs are everywhere. It's always good to keep your hands clean. This is one of the top items that I MUST have everywhere I go. Sometimes, I even bring two bottles just in case I lost it!


☑️ Repellent Patch + Citronella Oil
Mosquito bites are nasty! I bring these along because we do a lot of outdoors activities quite often. I always bring extra so I can share it with my friends or give it to anyone who needs it. Buzz off, Mozzies!


☑️ Water Bottles
I always remind the kids to drink more water. Our body needs H2O to stay healthy and hydrated.


☑️ Light Jacket / Sweater / Extra Clothings / Caps 
I pack a set of extra clothing and jackets only when we are out the whole day but if it's only a few hours outing or shopping trips,etc.. I just bring their caps along.


☑️ Disposable Raincoat 
I never like to carry an umbrella...I prefer disposable raincoats and they are very useful on rainy days. 


☑️ Recycle Bag
Sometimes, we drop by to the library to borrow some books and I may need to get some groceries on the way home so I always bring 1 or 2 recycle shopping bags. They are light, waterproof and eco-friendly too.👍


☑️ Medicated Oil / Antiseptic Cream / Vicks / Plasters
I bring these along just in case...I hope we don't need to use them.


☑️ Kids Cologne
Who doesn't like to smell fresh and pleasant all day...


☑️ Portable Rechargeable Fan
It's really hot out there! I need the fans because my kids perspire easily and sometimes they get moody when the weather is too hot. We have Summer throughout the year, in Singapore!


☑️ Snacks
My daughter loves snacking. The snacks help to distract and comfort her when she whines! They are my lifesaver!Lol..But too much snacking is bad, so get only healthy snacks! 


☑️ Pocket Toys
These mini puzzles keep them entertained during long bus rides. I rarely bring electronics devices when we are out because I don't want the kids to be addicted and expose too much screen time. Actually, these toys are pretty cool and fun too. I really love them! 

As you can see, almost all the items in the Mummy Bag are for our little ones. The children are always the priorities, therefore, the Mummy Bag becomes a part of our regular accessories... So please don't fuss or laugh at the Mummies for packing all these stuff because we do it all for LOVE...just making sure the kids are well and safe always!


Hey Mummies, did I miss out any precious items? Let me know what other things you have, in your bag of love...😉

Till then...Happy Mothering! 💗


Blogger Mommywarrior77