Not long ago, I was invited to a private group interview on the topic "Successful Marriage". For the record, I have been married for over a decade and counting...(*but I'm not old btw..) 😁😄 I guess I'm qualified to offer my humble advise and thoughts on this very popular discussion.
During the interview, the host asked.....
"What is your best advise for people who are getting married and the newlyweds..."
...and I replied,
In my opinion, a Marriage is much more than just a paper and the marital status. When you decided to marry that special someone, you do not just married to the love of your life, you married to his/her family as well.
Trust me, that is a fact! I believe those who have been married for many years would agree with me, that is why building a successful Marriage isn't easy because there will be many unhappy, tacky situations and new challenges along the way that could involve your spouse's family, eg; siblings, relatives, etc.. that unfortunately may effect your relationship when couples start having disagreements and disputes over family matters.You may have a hard time blending into the family and you will be exhausted playing the Angel all the time when your spouse's family don't even appreciate your efforts in the end, so married life isn't as simple as it looked.
I am NOT an expert in Marriage advise but I will share my perspective on Marriage / Married Life based on my personal experience for the readers as a general reference.☺
Before you propose and say I do......
1) Never rush to get married! Don't feel pressure to marry because you feel lonely, unhappy being single or your parents keep nagging at you. Marriage Is A Lifetime Commitment. It is better to marry later than married to the wrong person.
People said, "Love Is Blind". Indeed..lovers can be 'blinded' when they are madly in love, people do get impulsive and married too early and then regret later. So give yourself sufficient time to know the person better and his/her family as well.
2) Avoid staying too near or living together with your in-laws. You can always bring the kids to visit your in-laws every weekly/monthly or as often as you want and it is so convenient to travel around any part of the country. Personally, I would prefer NOT to stay too close or living together with my in-laws because it can cause some inconvenience, unnecessary stress and tensions living under one roof. Besides, I need my privacy! Lol😝
When we talk about in-laws, it doesn't only refer to the Father/Mother-in-law alone, that also include the unmarried sister/brother-in-law who are still living together with the parents. These are the people who may gossip / badmouth you and create many family dramas because they could be jealous and feeling insecure when they see you as a Threat in the family, especially when you are intelligent, vocal and outshine them in many aspects. So if you do have a choice, be wise and distance yourself from those nasty in-laws! They are one of the Biggest deal breaker imo.
3) Always protect your loved ones. Do NOT let anyone bully your spouse and children. If you know your spouse/children is right, speak up and stand by them. Remember, silence isn't always golden! Your spouse deserve all the respect in the family. He/she doesn't have to put up with the nonsense and be treated unfairly. Always Do What Is Right! A strong family is one who stays united.💗👨👩👧👦
4) Choose your battles. Put down your ego. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose..Hey, it's no big deal!😎 You don't have to win all the time, there is no medal for winning anyway, Haha!..and Marriage isn't a competition. It is silly to fight over small matters, don't let those minor things effect your Marriage/relationship, it's just not worth it!
5) Mutual respect and good communication is extremely important in a healthy, successful Marriage. Without communication and respect, I don't think any Marriage / Relationships can survive in a long run and it may lead to many serious problems later. Make some efforts to communicate daily. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse often. Listen when he/she speak, do not interrupt or judge anything. Do acknowledged that everyone have different emotions on each situations..Be a good listener and be supportive. Praises and compliments never harm.😘👍
6) Keep the Fire burning..it doesn't matter how long you are married. Don't forget to groom yourself, hit the gym or do some sports to keep fit. Put some efforts on your physical appearance and dressings.When you look good, you feel good inside and out, it boost your charm and confidence big time! (*Speaking from my own experience.LOL!😁)
Don't forget couple time.💏 Always make time for your spouse. Romance is very important in a Marriage. Be creative and spontaneous. Why not start dating your wife/husband again? You could get someone you trust to babysit your kids and go out on a date with your spouse. Perhaps a romantic candle-light dinner, midnight movies, supper or evening strolls at the beach under the stars...Who doesn't like sweet surprises, right?😘
Marriage is a teamwork. It takes two to tango.. NEVER take anyone or anything for granted! A happy and successful Marriage need to be nurtured with a lot of hard work, sacrifices, patience, understanding and consistent commitments from both husband and wife.👫
......Whenever I see old loving couples holding hands strolling at the park, my heart melts with warmness and sweetness. They have proven to the world that True Love does exist!...😆😄💕
Blogger Mommywarrior77
