Before Saying...I Do! 💏

Not long ago, I was invited to a private group interview on the topic "Successful Marriage". For the record, I have been married for over a decade and counting...(*but I'm not old btw..) 😁😄 I guess I'm qualified to offer my humble advise and thoughts on this very popular discussion.

During the interview, the host asked.....

"What is your best advise for people who are getting married and the newlyweds..."

...and I replied,

In my opinion, a Marriage is much more than just a paper and the marital status. When you decided to marry that special someone, you do not just married to the love of your life, you married to his/her family as well.

Trust me, that is a fact! I believe those who have been married for many years would agree with me, that is why building a successful Marriage isn't easy because there will be many unhappy, tacky situations and new challenges along the way that could involve your spouse's family, eg; siblings, relatives, etc.. that unfortunately may effect your relationship when couples start having disagreements and disputes over family matters.You may have a hard time blending into the family and you will be exhausted playing the Angel all the time when your spouse's family don't even appreciate your efforts in the end, so married life isn't as simple as it looked.  

I am NOT an expert in Marriage advise but I will share my perspective on Marriage / Married Life based on my personal experience for the readers as a general reference.☺

Before you propose and say I do......

1) Never rush to get married! Don't feel pressure to marry because you feel lonely, unhappy being single or your parents keep nagging at you. Marriage Is A Lifetime Commitment. It is better to marry later than married to the wrong person. 

People said, "Love Is Blind". Indeed..lovers can be 'blinded' when they are madly in love, people do get impulsive and married too early and then regret later. So give yourself sufficient time to know the person better and his/her family as well.

2) Avoid staying too near or living together with your in-laws. You can always bring the kids to visit your in-laws every weekly/monthly or as often as you want and it is so convenient to travel around any part of the country. Personally, I would prefer NOT to stay too close or living together with my in-laws because it can cause some inconvenience, unnecessary stress and tensions living under one roof. Besides, I need my privacy! Lol😝

When we talk about in-laws, it doesn't only refer to the Father/Mother-in-law alone, that also include the unmarried sister/brother-in-law who are still living together with the parents. These are the people who may gossip / badmouth you and create many family dramas because they could be jealous and feeling insecure when they see you as a Threat in the family, especially when you are intelligent, vocal and outshine them in many aspects. So if you do have a choice, be wise and distance yourself from those nasty in-laws! They are one of the Biggest deal breaker imo.

3) Always protect your loved ones. Do NOT let anyone bully your spouse and children. If you know your spouse/children is right, speak up and stand by them. Remember, silence isn't always golden! Your spouse deserve all the respect in the family. He/she doesn't have to put up with the nonsense and be treated unfairly. Always Do What Is Right! A strong family is one who stays united.💗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 

4) Choose your battles. Put down your ego. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose..Hey, it's no big deal!😎 You don't have to win all the time, there is no medal for winning anyway, Haha!..and Marriage isn't a competition. It is silly to fight over small matters, don't let those minor things effect your Marriage/relationship, it's just not worth it!

 

5) Mutual respect and good communication is extremely important in a healthy, successful Marriage. Without communication and respect, I don't think any Marriage / Relationships can survive in a long run and it may lead to many serious problems later. Make some efforts to communicate daily. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse often. Listen when he/she speak, do not interrupt or judge anything. Do acknowledged that everyone have different emotions on each situations..Be a good listener and be supportive. Praises and compliments never harm.😘👍

6) Keep the Fire burning..it doesn't matter how long you are married. Don't forget to groom yourself, hit the gym or do some sports to keep fit. Put some efforts on your physical appearance and dressings.When you look good, you feel good inside and out, it boost your charm and confidence big time! (*Speaking from my own experience.LOL!😁)

Don't forget couple time.💏 Always make time for your spouse. Romance is very important in a Marriage. Be creative and spontaneous. Why not start dating your wife/husband again? You could get someone you trust to babysit your kids and go out on a date with your spouse. Perhaps a romantic candle-light dinner, midnight movies, supper or evening strolls at the beach under the stars...Who doesn't like sweet surprises, right?😘

Marriage is a teamwork. It takes two to tango.. NEVER take anyone or anything for granted! A happy and successful Marriage need to be nurtured with a lot of hard work, sacrifices, patience, understanding and consistent commitments from both husband and wife.👫

......Whenever I see old loving couples holding hands strolling at the park, my heart melts with warmness and sweetness. They have proven to the world that True Love does exist!...😆😄💕

Blogger Mommywarrior77

The Cyber Generation 🌎

Last week, I attended an interesting workshop on Cyber Wellness and met Mr Jim Lim, the speaker for the workshop. Personally, I think it is one of the best workshop that I have attended in the recent years. 

Jim is a friendly, humorous and intellectual speaker and his workshop is helpful, informative and engaging. I promise you won't doze off in his 4hrs+ workshop. I now have a better idea to guide my children as they grow into their teens and adulthood in years to come. 

We are in the Cyber Generation and Internet is part of our life..Hence, the trend, the temptations and the contents from the net influenced the mind and the overall well-being of the child when they are exposed to the Internet everyday. It is important for parents to be involved and bond with our children to help them understand about Internet safety and their curiosity as they grow.

I am amazed and inspired by his speech in this workshop. Jim who is also an experienced social worker have met many people / families from different walks of life, he shared many real life stories and his perspectives on Parenting.

We all know that Parenting is not an easy journey because there is No fixed or right formula. There will be tears, heartaches, anxiety but alot of joy along the way and from time to time, we need to experience many trial-and-error to understand what works the best for our children because every child is different and unique in their own ways.

As a parent myself and a mother of two, I am a protective and a strict Mom. However, unlike the majority, I am not one who focus too much on academic and good grades, because I believe life isn't only about having good grades. 

As much as I want my children to have a bright future and be successful in life but I wouldn't want my children to be top scholars but failed in morality, humanity and social skills/EQ. I want my kids to experience their life journey and to overcome the different challenges ahead and if they fall, I want them to learn to get back on their feet and keep moving forward but a stronger and wiser person each time they fall.

With all due respect, I strongly agree that good and proper education is very important for our generation and the human race. Knowledge Is Power! Without a strong educational foundation and support, there wouldn't be doctors, scientists and lawyers today!

Well..I'm not a big fan of books but if I will spent 12 bucks to get this book and to blog about it, it's definitely a great book that I would recommend to my friends and other parents, especially those who have an open and flexible mentality on Parenting.

The world is a crazy and hazard place, with shocking news everyday. Power, Violence, Fame, Fear, Greed, Lust and the list go on..Though we can't stop all the negativeness around the world but we can educate and guide our younger generation into the right path to shape our world a better place.🌎

Life is an exciting journey and Parenting is our responsibility! Teach our young the right and humane way of life, to build a better future for mankind.

For love, compassion and peace!❤

Blogger Mommywarrior77

Stay-At-Home Moms, I Salute You! 💖

People often asked, "Babe, why did you gave up your career to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom?", "Don't you feel bored staying at home all day?"

I smiled and replied politely..."Not really, I have a lifetime to work, but my kids are only young once, I want to be there to witness all their milestones, to spend quality time together and giving them a beautiful childhood..."

Hmmm..why would I be bored? I keep myself busy every day and I love bonding with my 2 sweethearts. I can't wait to teach them how to play the guitar/drums, bake the cookies, play basketball together, go camping and I look forward to more activities as they grow...

Since the day they were born, it is my duty and responsibility as their Mother to take care of them, no excuse! Frankly, 24 hours isn't enough for me, the house chores never seem to end...Every time I cleaned up the room, it's messy again the next hour...Wow! I don't even have time to enjoy a decent meal or take a nice long bath...Indeed, though my kids made me very busy, exhausted and 'crazy' some days, but they also brought a lot of joy and sunshine into my life.

While I do agree that money is very important but my children/family always comes first! To me..FAMILY is the most important thing in the world!

Over the years, I have seen many unhappy rich people and happy average people who appreciate every little thing in life even though they don't enjoy all the luxuries like the rich. The latter seems happier.

In my opinion, if you have a happy family/home. You ARE Rich! because no amount of money in the world can ever buy a happy family nor a beautiful childhood etc..We should always learn to be thankful and count our blessings.

As a wife and a mother, my priorities are my children/family, NOT my career at this point. Moreover, I never really miss working life, I'm glad I don't have to rush to catch the train and dealing with office politics now. I'm pretty happy and contented to be a Stay/Work-At-Home Mom and a Lifestyle Mommy Blogger too.😘

Unfortunately, the society is negative and judgmental on SAHMs but it doesn't really matter! We don't need to follow the majority and we don't have to listen to those stereotyped remarks anyways. Every family is different.

I understand that words can be very hurtful sometimes, people are very mean and often mock at these poor mothers, I can totally relate to that, being a S/WAHM myself.

But think again..if there is no SAHM to take this role, be prepared to spend more money on daycare/childcare services and be mindful that these centres don't operate 24/7.

It's really sad that the hard work people see, is based on the wages that you bring home every month. Hence, the unconditional love and time that we (SAHMs) have given to the family were forgotten and taken for granted, yet again...

Nonetheless, I'm still thankful that I have a choice and I choose to be a SAHM, I'm proud of my role and decision. No regrets at all.

My children will never remember all the cool toys when they are older but they will always remember their sweet memories of their childhood with their mother always by their side to love, nurture, guide and protect them.

With all due respect, I truly feel that SAHMs deserve more appreciations, supports and encouragements from the society for all the sacrifices they made for the kids/family...Afterall, not everyone can accept this role and be a happy SAHM altogether. It is truly not easy to be a SAHM, only those who are one would understand the struggles and challenges we deal each day. 

I am writing this to thank my dear mother for all the love and support she has given me since the day I was born and also a shout-out to all the amazing SAHMs out there (*including myself) who have done so much but too little recognition.

I truly feel your delicate love and exhaustion, Mommies! Please remind yourself that you are doing a wonderful job. Let's keep up the good work, Supermoms! From the bottom of my heart, I Salute You! 😎👍

Blogger Mommywarrior77