The recent news triggered some social attention and a major concern for parents. I wonder, "Are the children too stressed in schools?"
Mental health is a complex and a sensitive subject that most people are not comfortable to share and discuss liberally, but it is so important to understand and take control of mental health, as it affects greatly on a person's thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
Like all adults, children have different emotions and bad days too, they could be experiencing prolonged mental stress in school and not aware of the danger of these intense emotions could cause.
We've all been a student before...School isn't always a fun and safe place. A child could be struggling with studies, dealing with bullies, feeling isolated or having low self-esteem etc...They could be having fear, anxiety, depression or having meltdowns and not know where and who they can seek help and support.
Do you still remember when our parents used to nag at us to study hard, get a degree, find a good job and have a successful life... I know as parents, we want the best for our children, especially we are living in a competitive society today, but to the child, it could be a very stressful ordeal to reach our expectations.
We have to be mindful that life isn't all about getting good grades, every child has different potential. Yes! A degree is a great academic honor...but even if your child didn't get a degree, it doesn't mean that they can't be successful later in life. Remember in the end, The Tortoise Won The Race!🥇
People like Bill Gates, Ralph Lauren and Steve Jobs doesn't have a college degree, are they not rich, famous and successful? Anything Is Possible!👍
Now don't get me wrong, education is still extremely important as we all need knowledge and skills to achieve our dreams and goals. The world need doctors, lawyers, engineers too, but the point is to believe that our children is capable to do many great things even without the perfect grades.The truth is, school doesn't teach you everything and life doesn't stop after graduation. The road is long for our children to explore and excel to their full potential.
Here are my personal parenting tips and advice to improve mental well-being for students/children :
What Can Parents Do? 💡🤔
1. Communicate daily
Talk to your children every day no matter how busy you are. 20 - 30 mins is a good start. Put down your phone and give them full attention. Listen patiently and don't interrupt, allow your children to express themselves, the more you communicate, the stronger the bond and you will understand your children much better as they grow. (Your child need more than a mobile device.)2. Don't Compare Your Child with Anyone
No one likes to be compared. It is a psychological damage to a child's self-esteem and it is hard to reverse. A traumatic childhood and bad memories could stay permanently. Your child may grow up thinking that they are never good enough! Accept their flaws and love them for who they are.
3. Praise Your Child Genuinely (But Don't Overdo)
Compliments made us feel good and appreciated, but be specify and genuine. Instead of saying, "Well done, good job, sweetie!" Tell your child, "Mommy is proud of you for cleaning up your room and helping your sister with her homework, you are a great brother." However, avoid excessive praises as this may cause the child to be arrogant, having a boastful attitude and nobody wants to befriend with snobs!
4. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Everyone reacts to situations differently. Please do NOT judge or shame them for their personal thoughts, but try to understand from different perspectives. Every emotions are valid.
5. Positive Self-Talk & Self-Love
Teach children to believe in themselves, this will encourage them to build up their confidence and independence. Celebrate small victory and be their cheer leader! Let them know it is OK to fail, keep trying but do not quit! Use positive, powerful words and remind them about their strengths, good conducts/personality etc...
6. Have Realistic Expectations
Getting straight A's is impressive but don't over-stress the child and penalize them just because they didn't top the class or get the best grades. I think B Is Brilliant too! As long as the child put in their best efforts, we should be proud of them.7. Be There For Them (Be A Support!)
Everyone needs comfort and support. Do NOT expect young children to behave like independent grown-ups, their young minds are not mature enough to handle all the problems by themselves. Let your children know that they are not alone to face the problems, they can always count on Mommy & Daddy for help and support.8. Set Good Examples
Children will follow their parents' examples more than their advice. If you want your child to have good morals and behaviors, be a good example, a role model and practice what you preach. Children are constantly watching, observing and learning from the way we speak, react and how we treat others.
9. Learn From Mistakes
Every mistakes will teach the children some important lessons. Explain to them the danger and consequences of making bad choices. This will help them to analyse every situations carefully and be responsible for their actions.
10. Teach Children To Protect Themselves
Remind our children that every problem has a solution! Teach them to reach out to parents, teachers, a trusted adult/friend when they need help, but NEVER suffer in silence.
Parenting is a tough and a challenging journey. Time has changed, the classic parenting tactics need to be revised from time to time. Those parenting guide books and all the seminars/workshops you attended are a source for reference, not every answers can be found in books. Parenting is a Hands-On skill and experience, rather than a theoretical knowledge.
In my honest opinion, there is no perfect formula for parenting, the guideline is to do what works the best for your children.
Our role as a parent is to protect, guide, discipline our children and help them to become a better person. Whatever your parenting strategies and beliefs are, I am sure at the end of the day, all parents want to raise a strong, confident, healthy child.
Always remember...
Your child's mental health is more important than their grades. A positive mind and a resilient child is much likely to overcome adversity, to achieve great success and happiness in life!🏆Spread the words...Mental Health Matters! 💚
"If there is eternity, I would spend an endless lifetime, to keep my children safe under my wings." ❤ ~ Mommywarrior77
👉 Mothers are Angels! 💯😇💖
*** Disclaimer ***
(This blog is written by Mommywarrior77. All information provided are based on my personal experience as a mother with 2 young children. No medical advice intended. Please seek professional support.)
